


6 times Killua had cried

by chaeotic



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, Smut, crying Killua is my aesthetic, even though it's not much but it's there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:42:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7667170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaeotic/pseuds/chaeotic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were only 6 times Killua Zoldyck had cried.<br/>One time was different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	6 times Killua had cried

There were only 6 times Killua Zoldyck had cried

The first time was back in NGL; when Kite got attacked by Pitou and Killua had knocked Gon out to save him. They had fought against Knuckle and Shoot in order to get back and save Kite - and lost. 

Gon stood in front of him with his back facing him, his shoulders shaking. He was crying, Killua could tell. 

"I never realized how frustrating it is to be weak!", he had yelled and Killua could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew he was weak too - fighting with the aim to run away, just like Bisky had told him. Until he would leave Gon behind, dying.

Gon was right. It was frustrating. 

He couldn't stop his tears.

 

 

The second time was on Gon's date with Palm, when Killua had tailed them in order to protect Gon who had lost his Nen for 30 days thanks to Knuckle's Nen ability. He could sense the Nen of an approaching enemy and fought against them. It was one of the Chimera Ants, Rammot. But he seemed stronger now.

Killua had cried out of frustration. He had to fight him to protect Gon but the voice of his brother in his head told him to run away. He couldn't bear it - until he found the needle in his head and ripped it out.

He had killed him right on the spot. And as the corpse of the beheaded Chimera Ant fell down to the ground he could feel a weight lifted from his shoulders.

He no longer had a reason to run.

He could stay with Gon without endangering his life.

 

 

The third time was in Peijin during their infiltration.  
Gon's words were stuck in his head. _It doesn't matter to you since it means nothing to you._  
He knew he didn't have the same relationship with Kite just like Gon had but still....it had hurt him. Deeply. Didn't want Gon to have him around anymore? Was he a nuisance?

_Let's go..._  
How did he mean it?

Why was he so hurt?

He had a breakdown in front of Palm who was fighting him. He begged her to help Gon... because he couldn't help him. The realization of his words was so much worse. It had crushed his heart, ripped it to thousand tiny pieces - he felt so lost. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know anything. He felt so... _helpless._  


It was when Palm turned back to normal he had stopped crying and sobbing. When she had told him that Gon needed him the most--

Killua could feel the tears drying on his cheeks and his heart stopped clenching.

Gon...

Gon needed him the most.

 

 

The fourth time was out of frustration and anger. The sleeping Nanika was clutching to him as he kept staring at his older brother with dark eyes. The tears had started flowing without him noticing. He couldn't control the feelings that whirled inside him - there were so many. 

Nanika was kinder than anyone.

Nanika was _his sister._  


How dare Illumi refer to her as an object? When she was his sister as well?

His brother looked at him with hard eyes. They stared at each other before Killua could hear his own, trembling voice speaking. "If you talk about her as an object again..." His gaze darkened.

"I won't consider you as my brother anymore"

 

 

The fifth time was after Nanika had healed Gon.  
Killua had told her not to come out anymore in order to protect Alluka. He had yelled at her - he shouldn't have done that - and when Alluka stood before him with tears in her eyes, he knew he had made a mistake.

"If you're going to protect me, you have to protect Nanika too!", she had yelled at him, her voice shaking with tears.

Killua opened his mouth to say something, _anything,_ until Alluka yelled again.

"If you're mean to Nanika, I'll _hate_ you!"

His mouth had closed and he swallowed the lump in his throat. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He wanted to protect her. He...

After he had asked Nanika to come out again the tears had started flowing, hot against his cheeks. His eyes were burning at the sight of the tears in Nanika's eyes and her trembling lips.

"Nanika", he had whispered, his voice quivery. "Will you forgive me for being a-" He sniffled. " bad big brother?"

Nanika had looked at him with her big teary eyes.

" 'kay" A breathy whisper.

Killua had pulled her into a hug and held her tight against his shaking chest. And when she raised her hands to grab the back of his shirt and pressed him tighter against her, he knew he would protect them for the rest of their life. 

"I love Killua"

Alluka, Nanika....and Gon.

 

 

The sixth time he cried was a few years later. Killua's face was pressed against the silky sheets; they were cool against the heat of his skin. He was drooling and if it weren't for the moment he would be grossed out by it.

The pressure on his prostate never ceased. The grip on his hips to keep him steady was tight and would leave bruises afterwards - not that he mind.

Killua panted and moaned at a particular hard thrust against his sweet spot. He buried his face into the sheets and could feel the tears well up behind his closed eyes. This time was different.

"Nghh, Killua" He could feel the syllables of his name against his sweaty neck. "Killua, feels, ah, feels so good" 

" _Gon_ ", he whispered into the sheets. 

The other Hunter let his hands roam over the sides of his slender body, only to grip his hips again to pull him against his harsh thrusts. The former assassin threw his head back and moaned loudly when Gon picked up the pace and thrusted deeper inside of him, _deep, so deep._  


Killua almost ripped the sheets and tears started to run down his flushed face. This time was different. He didn't cry out of frustration. Or anger. Or desperation.

" _Harder_ , Gon, do it, ah, harder"

Gon complied and snapped his hips forward; he reached deeper and harder inside of him and Killua _loved it_. He clawed at the sheets. "Yes, _yes_ , 's so good, _Gon_ "

" _Killua_ ", he whispered into his ear and the former assassin shuddered.

"Gon, close, I'm- _oh god_ \- I'm gonna--"

" _I love you_ "

He came violently, just from that. He squeezed around Gon and soon his knees gave out under him. Before he could fall into his own mess on the sheets Gon caught him with his arms around his waist and thrusted once, twice, before he spilled himself into the tight heat.

It was quiet again in the hotel room except for their heavy pants. Alluka was sleeping in her room next to theirs; Killua hoped they hadn't been too loud.

"Killua", Gon whispered. He had slipped out and snuggled up to him. His amber eyes were bright in the darkness of the room. Killua swallowed. 

Gon reached out to him and stroked his cheek. "Are you hurt?"

The younger hunter blinked at him. "No... why you're asking?"

"You're crying"

Killua blinked again before he had to smile and hide his face in the sheets. "Stupid", he mumbled half-heartedly while he snuggled closer to Gon who wrapped his arms around him. " 's not because I'm hurt"

This time was different. He didn't cry out of frustration. Or anger. Or desperation.

He cried out of happiness.


End file.
